by Michael Frighten’d

With Pittsburgh still recovering from a day of devastating flash floods, the Steel City Derby Demons emerged as the bruised victors in a pair of closely-matched and emotional bouts against the Cincinnati Rollergirls in what has developed into an intense rivalry between the two leagues. In the first bout, the B-Unit played perhaps their best game of the season against the newly renamed Violent Lambs. The lead changed hands eight times before finally ending in a 166-140 B-Unit victory. In the second, the Steel Hurtin’ outlasted the Black Sheep, 168-139, in possibly the most brutal derby match seen at Romp ‘n’ Roll in Glenshaw.

In the opener, Steel City’s B-Unit took on the newly-renamed Lambs of Cincinnati who have eschewed Silence for Violence. The early going seesawed back and forth and continued for the entire 60 minutes in a riveting bout with 8 lead changes. The first jam saw no one capture lead as Cincinnati’s Cherry Choke was first to score while her teammate Bex Pistol led the hold on McShovin. But a low block by Cherry Choke opened the door for a 10-point McShovin powerjam. A nice clearing block by Cincy’s Sista Shove Child in the following jam brought the score to 13-8. Mission Impassible answered for B-Unit, with a good block keeping Roxx Solid in the pack while Cruisin’ B. Anthony scored a grand slam. New Steel City skater London Blitz, recently transferred from Naughty Pines in Laramie, WY, followed with a 7-0 run herself and the B-Unit lead was up to 25-8. Soon after, as MILF-Shake and Atomic Bombino anchored a Pittsburgh back wall, Cruisin’ B. Anthony scored another 9 and B-Unit seemed to have things well in hand at 38-13. But the Violent Lambs blockers stepped up. A last-second block by Killian Destroy kept London Blitz in the pack while Railroad steamed to 13 points. Godzillary’s driving block of London Blitz to the outside followed by a scamper to the back of the pack seemed to set up a powerjam for Cincinnati as London Blitz reentered well in front. But a referee discussion determined that an elbow had been thrown on the original block and the call was reversed. Then, as fate would have it, McShovin was immediately called in the proceeding bout along with many other penalties and the Lambs’ Hot Slice capitalized for 18 giving Cincinnati the lead, 44-42, as time crossed the midpoint of the first half.

B-Unit’s Vicious Virus dropped Pistol Whippin’ Wendy to allow Crusin’ B. Anthony to take back the lead with 5 points, calling off the jam before Pistol Whippin’ Wendy could begin her scoring pass, leading the Violent Lambs’ jammer to taunt the Pittsburgh bench with a chicken dance. B-Unit slowly built their lead back up to 59-48 with Wham Bam Pam, Tower O’Terror, MILF-Shake, and Busty Brawler coming up with big defensive and offensive blocks. But Maime was able to retake the lead at 61-59, scoring 13 as Railroad took out McShovin on every attempt through the pack. With the score holding steady there until the two-minute mark, Cruisin’ B. Anthony put a quick move around the Cincinnati back wall to scamper through for 8 and a 67-61 B-Unit lead. McShovin followed with a sweet deke to capture lead jam and 5 more points. The half ended with B-Unit up 72-61.

For the first 15 minutes of the second half, B-Unit’s penalty trouble left them consistently short-handed in the pack, but their jammers captured lead three-quarters of the time to keep the game close. Hot Slice put a slick move around Wham Bam Pam to score 8. Pistol Whippin’ Wendy followed the clearing blocks of Railroad on a powerjam to score a triple grand-slam and take the lead at 84-77. Death Cake for Cutie got lead jam and 4 points back despite being two skaters short in the pack. Crusin’ B. Anthony once again recaptured the lead for B-Unit with a fast move around a stopped pack. 88-84, B-Unit. McShovin sought to extend the lead, fighting through the inside for lead jammer and 9 points. But whistled for a forearm, she went to the box, followed by Tower O’Terror and Miss Ill as play got a bit out of control. Sista Shove Child, in her only jam of the bout, rode that power position for 18 points and a lead once again for the Violent Lambs: 102-97. After Death Cake for Cutie got the lead down to 1, it was Cruisin’ B. Anthony once again to get the lead for B-Unit at 104-102 with 18 minutes to go, a lead they would maintain until the final whistle. Once again short-handed, Death Cake for Cutie battled hits from Iona Pare and Railroad to keep the 7-jam lead jammer streak alive and increase B-Unit’s lead. With just one quarter to go, it was 112-102.

Penalties began to balance out in the remaining minutes and B-Unit slowly increased their lead. With 7 minutes to go, a big hit by Busty Brawler on Railroad kept the talented skater from capturing lead. Bombtrack, appearing in her first game with Cincinnati for a year after heading to Albania on a Fulbright, had less success with the goat pen anchored by Vicious Virus as McShovin added 10 more to the B-Unit lead. B-Unit kept the speed of the pack up to wipe time off the clock as Miss Ill cleaned Hot Slice’s clock. With 3:45 to go, B-Unit’s 28-point lead was the biggest of the bout and stayed there until the final jam. Hot Slice wrested lead jam away from Cruisin’ B. Anthony. The two jammers skated neck and neck trying to catch up with the speeding pack. Railroad dropped back and cleared Hot Slice who scored 17 but was called for a major cut before the miracle comeback could be fulfilled. Cruisin’ B. Anthony tacked on another 15 to finalize the score of 166-140 in a bout that was everything a derby fan could have asked for.

From the moment the main bout of the Steel Hurtin’ versus the Black Sheep began, it was clear that the energy levels would be high and remain that way. Cincinnati leapt out to a quick lead as jammer K Lethal shrugged off a hit from Athena to scamper for a quick 4 points. Hannah Ouchocinco followed with 3 of her own as Nuk’em nailed the Steel City jammer, Mean Burrito. As the pack sped, Wheezy increased the early Cincinnati lead to 11-0 after only three and a half minutes. In the fifth jam, Athena and Double Destroyer opened a hole for ‘snot rocket science to slip through ahead of Hannah Ouchocinco who hit the closing gap hard enough to earn a trip to the penalty box. As her blockers goated Karma Krash, bringing the pack to a halt, ‘snot rocket science showed off the speed and agility that got her named to Team USA in the Derby World Cup and scored 23 on the powerjam to give the Steel Hurtin’ a lead that would bend but never break. Defense for both teams highlighted by Friction VixXxen for Pittsburgh and candyKICKass! for Cincy kept the game under control and the score read 30-13 for the home team midway through the first half.

A good block-and-retreat play by Double Destroyer forced a major cut by K Lethal and, despite a 2-4 pack disadvantage, ‘snot rocket science rode a shirt whip from Ally McKill to increase the lead by another 14 points. The Steel Hurtin’ blockers continued a twelve-minute run to keep the Black Sheep off the scoreboard as jammers Hurricane Heather and Mean Burrito methodically added a few points here and there despite the strong efforts of Sk8r-Kinney and Buckhead Betty. With 8:30 to go in the half, Pittsburgh seemed to have control of the bout at 53-14. As Mean Burrito captured lead jammer and took off into the clear, a late call for pushing sent her to the box and Wheezy capitalized for 20 points on the powerjam. Steel City got some momentum back in the next jam as K Lethal was called for a back block and ‘snot rocket science got 14 to get the lead back up to 71-34 with 4 minutes left in the half. But K Lethal redeemed herself in the final jam of the half by beating ‘snot rocket science in a jammer-on-jammer battle which sent the Steel City jammer to the box followed by almost the entire pack. As the half ticked down, K Lethal rattled off 24 unanswered points through a sparse crowd for a halftime score of 77-58, Steel Hurtin’.

The second half began with the Black Sheep continuing their furious come-from-behind assault. K Lethal shot through for a quick 4. As the Shocker went to the box for Steel City, Hannah Ouchocinco powerjammed another 12. With that, it was only the good penalty-killing front wall of Friction VixXxen, J-Bomb, and the Crippler which preserved the scant lead, now down to 77-74. After a little bit of breathing room was added, Karma Krash and Penn Tupanga seemed to have lead jammer Hurricane Heather in check as Hannah Ouchocinco’s 6 threatened to tie the game. But a great block by ‘snot rocket science cleared almost the entire back of the pack and Hurricane Heather struck for 12. With 20 minutes to go, the level of contact intensified. Mean Burrito leapt and dodged her way to lead jammer despite the relentless efforts of Sk8r-Kinney, scoring 7 more to break the century mark as Bonecrusher, La Diabla*, ‘snot rocket science, and the Shocker shut out Wheezy. The next jam, Nuk’em delivered a tremendous hit to the Shocker that appeared to be above the jammer’s shoulders and, while play continued without interruption, emotions bubbled to the surface for both teams. The Shocker returned no worse for wear two jams later to win a textbook 4-0 as the 15 minute mark passed with a 109-88 Steel Hurtin’ lead.

K Lethal sped through a stopped early pack for a grand slam as Mirderher put the clamps on Hurricane Heather to close the gap to 16 with just under 13 minutes to go. As June with a Cleaver took out the Crippler, tempers flared both on the track and in the crowd. Harsh words were exchanged all around as the officials sought to maintain order. The next jam began with jammer-on-jammer contact between K Lethal and ‘snot rocket science resulting in a powerjam for Cincinnati. K Lethal blew through a pack full of high-hits and clockwise contact to score 15 before being sent to the box herself a hair’s breadth away from a tie game. Before the jam ended, ‘snot rocket science’s 3-point retort kept the slight lead at 113-109 with 7 minutes left. Mean Burrito began the next jam without an opponent but was only able to earn 10 points as Sk8r-Kinney and Karma Krash controlled the damage. In the following jam, however, the last hopes of the Black Sheep seemed to be crushed by Hurricane Heather who skated an inspired jam, scoring 23 unanswered points as J-Bomb, Athena, and the Crippler kept Wheezy in the pack for 2 full minutes. It was 146-109 with less than 4 minutes to go. Sk8r-Kinney delivered a huge booty block on the Shocker who recovered to beat Hannah Ouchocinco through the pack, 4-3. Mean Burrito then scored another 16 to K Lethal’s 8 as Athena and Ally McKill delivered a pack-spreading pair of synchronized hits. In the final jam, Sk8r-Kinney’s positional blocking forced Mean Burrito into a back block on Karma Krash and K Lethal struck for 19 in the powerjam as time expired and skaters were sent off left and right for every foul imaginable. With a palpable sense of relief, the ugly bout ended with Steel City taking the 168-139 victory.

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