by Michael Frighten’d

To prepare for some upcoming out-of-town bouts, the Steel City Derby Demons split up into four teams for two quick public scrimmages on March 2nd at Romp ‘n’ Roll in Glenshaw. In the opener, skaters from B-Unit and the Blitzburgh Bombers switched up into Black and Gold teams in a 30-minute rumble which saw Black come back from a 14-point deficit to win 53-35. In the second, the Steel Hurtin’ split into two small teams and saw the Gold earn a costly victory, losing 3 of their 8 skaters to injury, 62-53.

The B-Team bout was dominated early by good, clean defense with few big jams or penalties. Whiskey Mick led the way at the pivot and often last line of defense for Gold along with good pack work by Vicious Virus and Enemy Batterfly. Black’s blockers were equal to the task led by Inna Gadda Da Beatcha’s relentless assault upon Gold’s jammers and front walls anchored by Tower O’Terror and Atomic Bombino. After nine jams, the score was deadlocked at 17 with each team answering their opponent’s well-run 4-0 jams.

With the scoreboard even, Inga Knee’her put an outside move to try for lead jammer for Black but was driven all the way to the back by Whiskey Mick. McShovin took advantage and skated to daylight but at the end of her first scoring pass she wound up in a tangle after a big hit by Tower O’Terror got her skater skirt lodged in the Black Brobdingnagian’s skate and she had to call off the jam. Enemy Batterfly followed up for Gold in the first powerjam of the bout and, after Vicious Virus was able to free her from Atomic Bombino’s good penalty-killing, added on 7 to give Gold an 11-point lead. Fannie Mayhem added another 3 and Gold led 31-17 with a third of the bout to go.

Always with a seeming flair for the dramatic, Cruisin’ B. Anthony toed the jam-line for Black with a 5-3 pack advantage. Grabbing lead as she did for all 8 of her jams on the night, she struck back for 9 points as Inna Gadda Da Beatcha, Wham Bam Pam, and Tower O’Terror waterfalled McShovin into a shutout. Inga Knee’her followed up with a fast inside move for lead, one of 5 of 6 wins she’d garner in the second half, and scored 4 with good offensive blocking by Tower O’Terror and Atomic Bombino. Like that it had closed to 31-30 Gold.

Cruisin’ B. Anthony captured a 4-0 as Inna Gadda Da Beatcha kept Whiskey Mick under wraps and Black had its first lead of the bout, 34-31, with less than 8 minutes to go. In the next jam, Velvet Assassin earned a great chance for Gold, blocking Inga Knee’her into a track-cut as she tried to call off the jam. Fannie Mayhem lined up for the powerjam but was only able to score 4 points as Wham Bam Pam and Inna Gadda Da Beatcha kept her under control. Those would be the last points for Gold as Atomic Bombino and Miss Ill kept their jammers off the board and Cruisin’ B. Anthony and Inga Knee’her won the final four jams to seal the 53-35 comeback victory for Black.

The Steel Hurtin’ scrimmage was also a very defensive-minded bout in the early going. ‘snot rocket science grabbed the initial 4-0 lead for Black following a clearing of the Gold front wall by Ally McKill. Hurricane Heather would strike back for Gold on a powerjam for a 9-4 lead, one Gold would never relinquish. After seven jams, the score was quite low, 14-11 Gold, thanks to good defense by the Maestro, Madame Abagael, and WhipSmart! for Gold and Double Destroyer and ‘snot rocket science for Black.

On the eighth jam, WhipSmart! forced a cut by ‘snot rocket science despite an acrobatic maneuver to stay in-bounds and Hurricane Heather extended Gold’s lead with two grand slams. Mean Burrito was able to get 13 back for Black despite not earning lead jammer thanks to great defensive blocking by ‘snot rocket science and Double Destroyer and offensive blocking by Bonecrusher, closing the gap to 28-24. girl rolla warfare laid a good block on her fellow enemy of capital letters, ‘snot rocket science, and then hip-whipped Hurricane Heather to stretch the lead back to 35-27 Gold. Then, in the final jam of the first 20-minute half, a neck-and-neck race back to the pack between the Shocker and Mean Burrito ended in a fourth-minor trip to the box for Mean Burrito’s track cut. The Shocker was able to capitalize for 7, despite good damage control by Dakota Slamming and ‘snot rocket science. The halftime score was 42-29, Gold.

In the third jam of the second half, Hurricane Heather scored 8 to stretch the Gold lead to 17, unfortunately losing two of her teammates, girl rolla warfare and Madame Abagael, to apparent shoulder injuries. Two jams later, Hurricane Heather was able to win a 3-0 jam despite not getting lead and going to the box, thanks to great defense by WhipSmart! and the Maestro on Dakota Slamming. Black fought back with 6-0 and 4-0 jams won by ‘snot rocket science and J-Bomb, respectively, and the lead was down to only 9.

Trying to run out the clock with slow jams and cross-track steel curtains, Gold formed a 4-skater back wall, frustrating ‘snot rocket science. Then Bonecrusher blasted into it to clear her jammer, unfortunately leading to an ankle injury for the Maestro who had to crawl off the track. Gold’s lead was down to 8 and they had no available skaters on the bench now. La Diabla* spiced up Mean Burrito who could only score 3 as J-Bomb shut out Hurricane Heather and the Gold lead was down to 5. The Shocker then dodged her way to lead jammer, winning a 6-0 jam, seemingly icing the victory as her teammates iced their injuries. But time had not run out and Black had a last gasp. Double Destroyer, Ally McKill, and Bonecrusher kept Hurricane Heather in the pack as ‘snot rocket science shot through for lead. It turned out to not be enough, however, as Gold won the pyrrhic victory: 62-53.

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